Pneumatic disappearance

Why do I like moving image? Is it because it makes me less lonely? or it makes me hard to think anything else than images? When looking back at my work at BA and MA, most of them were cute drawings or pseudo infographics (well, if I can go back to that time, I would erase all of them.) When did I change to video practice? I actually very clearly remember when it was because it was my foremost intense experience I ever have done. I did like liveness of the performance with my video and audiences. Shockingly made me alive. I felt I can disappear and just let my work alone. There was an image that moving seems like it took over my life into themselves and create a new conversation with the people.

Photography or still images doesn’t make me that life. Even if that is performative practice, it doesn’t talk back to the other people, instead, it creates a monologue itself. It feels like it is just a diary or doodles, a trace that I made a trace for someone, it is still part of me. However, the moving image takes my life from me. Soon after I present it, it starts performs itself within a certain time and space, where it doesn’t need me anymore. In that space, I am peeping around that part of me talking to the other, which will reflect me but I would never control with. It is certain death. Not a permanent death but partial death that will be replaced by new life from the presented work.

I want to make my statue that can replace me. Pour my sorrows into that statue so I can keep mine instead.