Insomnia (1)
Two weeks classes and uncountable insomnia. I think this is the main words for my recent life. Some people told me probably I got stress too much, the other told that I am in the period of adaptation for new environment. Maybe both opinion is true. I do not have certainty to any of reason.
I recall how many night I was staying still front of my computer in Japan. I remember my loneliness at that time. Practically, I had a many drinking night with my friends. If they called me I always prepared to run up to them whenever or wherever until the sunshine shade on my eyelids. It was unimportant that I had a class next day or I have a hangover from last night drinks. I was glad that they remembered my existence and I received the message from that situations as a deep friendship.
Frankly, I do not know I really wanted irregular nights. What I was doing at party was just listen their trouble and sometimes gave them small advises and of course tons of drinks. As if let the time flow away from the present, they drunk and told about their future and life. Many nights, I had though I am participate in my gang through endless nights. I had thought I was part of them. However, it had not helped me to got out from the shell.
Now, I am trying to ascertain the cause of loneliness during that period, because it might help me to get through this time.